Forget the bl***ing cancer, THIS is serious!!!

It started raining at about 8.00pm on Thursday evening after a beautiful sunny day. Within ten minutes it was coming down in buckets and this kept up all night and all day on Friday. What a day to retire on!

What with the cancer, hospital visits and treatment research I'd not had much time to think about retirement. Well that's not quite accurate - I had cleared my desk, removed most of my personal property, finished all my administrative tasks, shredded or disposed of no longer needed papers, brought gifts, written a speech and so on - but I hadn't come to terms with the reality.

That all changed yesterday afternoon when I looked at rooms, friends, colleagues, pigeon- holes, name-tags, equipment, chairs, coat-pegs, trays, kettles, switches, roof tiles, puddles, carpets, mats, windows, text books, mugs, boards, door handles, initials and a thousand and one other things that will no longer be part of my life. Everything that has been a familiar part of my professional life for 18 years has suddenly been stripped away. My relationship with half my life has gone and will never be there again. I am now a different person and even when I go back to visit I will not be the same person as I was yesterday and the day before and the 18 years before that.

I gave a speech. It was expected and is part of the tradition - and I enjoyed it. As a teacher, like all my colleagues, there are times when I enjoy having an audience and enjoy making people laugh. I didn't expect to choke up or get emotional ... but I did and that was a really strange experience. Trips, study leave and the foulest of weather meant that that some of those who have been most important to me over the years were not able to be there and were sorely missed. Not that I took a register but amongst them were, in no particular order ... Danny DCH, Gisele GTW, Kate CMJ, Rachel RT and Helen HLJ, Caroline HCT, Karen KEM, Deb Wilko ?DW, Oliver OG, Andy AMW and Rob RE, Katie KAW. I'm sure I've missed many who are equally important to me but as I said, I didn't take a register. If you're one who couldn't be there, I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to you guys - you have all been so important to me over the years.

Of course, with the emotion of the time and the only semi-completed transcription, I lost my way and missed out some parts of my speech. You only get one crack at these things but there's part of me that wants to do it again (like getting married) - although I know the jokes won't be as funny the second time around! However I'm not going to apply for another performance or even provide you with the script for the bits I missed out but I will just say three things that I forgot to say on Friday.

1. Thank you to all of you. There has never been a colleague that I've learnt or gained nothing from. Every one of you has added something to my life - thanks.

2. If I've ever offended or upset any one of you I apologise. That was never my intention.

3. My thanks/toasts really should have been toasts - looking back I can see that there is a significant distinction between toasting those who have put in their time serving a community or those of us, trained in teacher training colleges who are still non-graduates, and offering thanks to them. In that light I want to offer one final toast that I forgot on Friday.
To Heads and Deputies - I've worked with over thirty Heads and Deputies over the years. There were four alone at DSHS in 1989 when I first arrived. They have been of all sorts and natures; some are still my friends. So ladies and gentlemen I give you Heads and Deputies, God bless them - why is it they can NEVER get ANYTHING right?

So thanks to all my colleagues, current and past, you've meant a lot to me. Your help, support and friendship over the years, particularly in the last year and especially in the past few weeks has been invaluable and hugely welcome. I won't forget you - indeed I've got a couple of hundred weight of granite to make sure I don't.

It will be obvious from the picture that this is not finished yet. I'll publish another picture when it's all done.

I'll always be pleased to hear from you by whatever means you choose. I will count it a happy and lucky day should I meet up with you - deliberately or by chance or when you come to visit.

So - there we go, a new life starts today and perhaps a new blog - well once this one is concluded anyway.

I love and will miss you all.

Ron