The Radioactive Ramblings of the Beetroot Boy

Yep, that's me folks, the Beetroot Boy. Not because I blush embarrassingly every time I see a picture of a pretty girl in her underwear - haven't done that since I was a teenager! Not because I have joined the ranks of the agricultural labour force to supplement my measly pension. Not because I've suddenly discovered a missing delicacy from my normal diet. None of these explain my adoption of a superhero monika.

The Beetroot Boy - in bed. Don't get too excited girls!
That white line down my throat is where the Dalek shielded my spinal chord.
A very considerate Dalek!

I escaped from the attentions of the Dalek on Nov 16th. I had been warned. The results of the treatment had been explained and described. I was told about after-effects. I knew that it wasn't all over, that things would get worse before they got better. But there is a division been intellectual knowledge and physical experience that is surreal. Consequently, despite all the preparation I really had no idea what to expect and how it would make me feel. I had been cooked and pickled for five weeks and during the next ten days or so the effects just got worse. Now my face and neck are a delicious shade of maroon. I could almost substitute for a stop light. Still, that does come in useful at night when I have to find my way to the loo in the dark. People come up to me on cold days and hold up their hands hoping to get warmed up in the glow. Fortunately most of my face and neck is still pretty numb from the surgery so the pain merchants have have had their plans undermined. Where I'm not numb things have become quite sore in the last few days as the top, irradiated layer of skin sloughs off. There are other after-effects as well so for those of you who like all the gory details -

Mouth and neck are swollen and stiff so ...
Turning my head and checking over my shoulder before pulling off when driving is harder than it should be.
My lips are sticky and dry especially when working outdoors.
My lower lip is really sensitive so drinking anything hot is impossible.
The tip of my nose is blistered internally and externally and breathing has been hard although this is improving now.
Whenever I eat my mouth stings and feels as though I've rinsed with brine.
The movement in my jaw is much more restricted now.

However there are some pluses as well.

I'm still eating and haven't lost any weight.
I'm not biting my tongue any more.
My mouth is well enough now to do some gentle jaw stretching exercises.

My birthday card from my sister (Nov 8th for those of you who want to add it to your diary dates) wished that this would be my worst birthday ever. She wasn't far wrong. Over the last week I do feel that I have finally earned all the positive comments about courage and bravery you lovely people have made over the life of this blog. For the first time life has been really tough and I've found it hard going. So, what do you do at times like this? Well, why not try a bit of retail therapy.

Retiring and getting those lovely tax-free lump sums have come at the right time and there's nothing like sitting and browsing the internet for distraction. I've read reviews and compared prices for dozens of different items. I've checked specifications and availability, read up on technological advancements and calculated degrees of bargain. I've been deep into the basement of information overload - but it has stopped me feeling sorry for myself. So apart from the new car we decided to revamp the kitchen. We already have a new dishwasher and fridge and we're looking for a built-in double oven and induction hob. Any recommendations gratefully received! On top of that I've got a new laptop (I had to give the school one back) and have bought Elaine a new digital camera for Xmas - one that has a purpose built underwater housing available. We fully intend getting back to scuba diving. Add to that list clothes, shoes, subs to three courses - pottery, photography and singing (for Ellie), concert tickets (they don't come cheap these days do they?!) and those of you who knew me as a stingy, careful, miser will wonder what has happened! I feel as though I've spent more money on us and the house in the past two months than the previous two years!

And today seems to have been a bit of a turning point. For the first time I've wanted to and had enough drive to spend the day working on the house. Nothing major or challenging but enough to keep me busy and active, leaving me satisfied as I sit and write this. I also suspect that I might, just, be through the worst of the after-effects. Ellie tells me that my beetroot may just be starting to fade, as I've said already my nose is not so sore, I'm not sure about my mouth except that as I stopped taking the codine some days ago it must be less painful than it was. I hope there will be no more nasty surprises and that the speed of recovery will accelerate. On Friday 16th I promised Elaine I was going to make the fastest recovery ever so I'll have to get on with it - won't I?

So, there you go - the latest update. Over the weeks a good number of you have told me how brave, courageous and even inspirational I have been. It's nice to hear it, even if it is a load of old bull! I've had no choice, it was going to happen and I've had to put up with it so I've just made the best of it. As I said, the last week has been hard but I hope that's over now. What I'm less happy about is that this blog is turning into a list of symptoms and hardships so after today I hope I'll be able to leave the rapidly fading after-effects behind. Perhaps next time I'll write about Shindig - an organisation those of you living in the Worcestershire area will be able to take advantage of - and other ways of ignoring the fact that I'm supposed to be unwell.

Stay smiling

Ron.